2011年1月4日星期二

You left, I packed in your heart

You left, I packed in your heart

Last night, I woke up from a nightmare! Dream, I saw my mother lying in bed in pain, has been rubbing his hands high uplift of the stomach, the pain that hurts. And I, in addition to gently help her mother outside the stomach, could do was cry.
January 4 is the mother's birthday. 2007, this time, my body discomfort, anxious to take care of my mother, I feel the warmth of winter. I did not think that in just six months later, the mother passed away, left me alone to throw in the wilderness without direction.
From a very young age, I was very afraid of losing their own. This may be due to the vast northeast region, to the childhood I always create a feeling of disorientation; also may be because after my first day of school, could not find his way home; they may be particularly low relative always feel that no one except my mother ... ... the kind of despair can be trusted to find the sun, and cried, feeling the direction of recognition; that does not help to stand still not moving, waiting for mom to pick the feeling; that when things come, first reaction is, and my mother nagging about the feeling, deeply engraved in my bone marrow.
Her mother suddenly left, which I was heartbroken! For a long time, I can not mention the "dead" word, and now still can not accept this on behalf of the white color of mourning, I do not see her mother's portrait, a look that face the tears.
These days, with the mother birthday approached, my emotions more and more irritable. I can not describe the more love the more we can not face the kind of frustration, then, has been to escape. After New Year's Day, Dad, and Third Sister and nephew came to me, the portrait of my mother's possession prior to the bedside drawer, so Dad Duwusiren. Do not want to go shopping me and Third Sister when the mischievous portrait of mother and daughter will turn out, but also asked his father: "My grandfather would like to grandma it? I can think of the grandmother." Wild child the father made the old vertical and horizontal tears, and so we returned, his eyes red and swollen my father told us: "Your mother birthday is coming, we must remember and pay his respects to your mother." Third Sister and I promised my father side, side to console him. But in fact, I did not pay his respects!
Not forget, but did not dare to face!
After her mother's portrait every day, I casually glanced at a glance, can not stop from the face. Because it squarely on the mother of all those things would be clear in the eyes! Memory of the beautiful colorful dress, delicious fragrance still in the various dishes, seasonal green and graceful old yard warm and comfortable ... ... and whether I did right or wrong, good times or bad, happy or sad, that so I can always be forgiven words, you can always embrace spoiled, you can always rely on time care and regards. All this makes me deeply regret that, unfortunately, not been able to appreciate her mother more from my mother's happiness and

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